Dincht
by Klutzy Angel
Summary: Underrated, undervalued and often overlooked. The story of one man's attempt to get his life together and become more than just a trainer who has a thing for hotdogs. Read and review please!
1. Mundane

**Dincht**

_A/N- So it's been a very long time since I have written anything for FanFiction. But I just wanted to get back into the swing of writing for fun, rather than because I had to. So I decided to write a new story and I wanted to do something a little different so I decided to center it on one character instead of like a lot. So here it is, please read and review, they keep me alive._

**Chapter 1 – Mundane  
**

Zell tapped his foot anxiously on the grey carpet of the office and checked his watch. He had another interview today for a law firm in Esthar. He had already gone to three and had already been declined by three, which he found hardly surprising. Zell had no real law experience or that much schooling on the subject, and it seemed as if he had just decided over night to become a lawyer; which wasn't entirely untrue. After much deliberation of his future (a six-pack and three burritos) Zell had decided that maybe he should finally take his Ma's advice and do something normal with his life, like become a lawyer.

Zell had found this rather hilarious since he thought of his life as little much more than normal. Apart from the whole, I-saved-the-world thing, and the fact that he had weapons training, there wasn't all that much going on in his life that would make it anything other than ordinary. In fact there was nothing; unless of course, you count those burritos or a job as a trainer at the gym in Balamb Garden, which was neither fun nor glamorous.

The glass door behind him opened and a brunette wearing heels and a pantsuit entered the room. She sat behind her desk and shuffled some papers around in search of something.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, I just had to wrap up a meeting," she said as she continued to look for something on her desk.

"Not a problem," he responded. She finally found the paper she was looking for and looked up at Zell.

"So Mr. Dincht, you have sent us your resume as consideration to become a member of the firm."

"Yup. I mean I'm not trying to be your number one lawyer, but I was hoping to get some kind of a job in the law and justice field," he answered. He had used this explanation twice before; after that first interview crashed and burned when he said under pressure that he wanted to 'practice law and junk', he wanted to be prepared for the next ones.

"Why law? I mean your resume here shows that you have no real experience or education in the field." Clearly the paper she was looking for a second earlier was his resume, which was less of a list of things he had accomplished in life, and more of a post-it note. "I mean it seems like you decided to work in this business almost over night.

"Not at all," he lied, "I've actually always been interested in law and… justice…" he stalled and read her face. It was emotionless as most interviewers faces are. "I just needed the right… I needed to really examine my life and decide where I wanted to go with it."

"Right," she took a moment and wrote something down. "I also notice you have a facial tattoo." Zell didn't know if he should respond to that or not since it didn't sound like a question, and he clearly had one. "Look, Zell I'm gonna level with you." Zell sat up a bit in his chair. It was black leather and he was beginning to overheat in the office since the summer sun was pouring through the floor to ceiling windows. The whole building was made of glass, and he had first thought when he entered it that Selphie would not be well liked here since her clumsiness would undoubtedly cause the destruction of something.

"So here are the facts Zell," continued the interviewer, who he just noticed he didn't know the name of. "You have very little experience and a limited education on the subject, and law firms are a very… how do I say this… Okay, being in a law firm is kind of like being in the government; it's very hard to get in if you aren't either overly qualified, or you don't know someone who's already in the business fairly intimately."

"So… your saying I need to sleep with you?" he asked honestly. The woman chuckled and shook her head.

"No; I'm saying that if you don't have connections it's hard to get into this business. Also you're tattoo doesn't really go with the conservative image most firms try to maintain."

"Okay…"

"Plus, the whole 'weapons training' isn't exactly the firms favorite aspect of someone's personality. I mean, working at the Garden is great, I mean you probably saved the world or something; it's just not really what people are looking for. I'm not saying that it's _never _gonna happen for you Zell, but I'm saying, with this lack of experience, that it is very unlikely." Zell hated moments like this. Not the rejection part, he had gotten used to that a long time ago. He never liked the moment right after the rejection. What was he supposed to say? 'Thanks for taking the time out of your day to crush my dreams'? 'Sorry I wasted you time looking at my tattooed face, when you could have been doing something more productive'?

"I appreciate your honesty," was what he decided and he shook hands with the woman and exited her office. This had become a typical day in Zell's life. He tried to get a job as something, he got interviewed by some nameless higher-up and he got rejected after about four minutes of conversation. He was beginning to wonder why he kept wasting the Garden's fuel with flights to these pointless encounters that achieved little more than bruising his ego.

On the flight back to the Garden, Zell looked out the window and sighed as he watched some birds flying alongside the plane. They were so free and alive. Lately the only that made Zell feel alive was the fact that if he didn't eat he got hungry, and that he hadn't had sex in about five months and he was hornier than a sixteen year old boy. And in regards to freedom? Technically he could do anything he wanted to with his life, but it seemed lately, like his life had peaked when he saved the world with his friends.

He told this to Rinoa a month ago and she responded with, "Some people would call that a pretty good peak." And some would; but when the days afterwards consisted of finding ways to waste the hours until primetime T.V. came on, it hardly seemed like the best way for your life to plateau.

When he arrived back at the Garden, he walked through the front doors and was immediately greeted by Selphie. She was busy telling some students on the Garden Committee where they should hang signs advertising the upcoming summer dance. Zell was technically on the committee, but he rarely attended meetings. But he was there when they were discussing the dance. The theme this year was 'Tropical Luau', which was only slightly different from last year's theme of 'Steamy Clam-bake', but way more appropriate than the suggested idea of 'CEO's and Office Hoes'.

"Hey Zelly how did your interview go?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Our personalities weren't exactly a match," he responded.

"I'm sorry about that… But on the bright side you don't have to really think about it that much. I mean the dance is coming up soon, and it will take your mind right off of it. Maybe you'll see that library girl you like there." Zell pulled a face. "What? Didn't you go on a date with her like a few days ago?"

"Yeah, we did… But I mean things didn't work out with her either."

"Bummer. Why not? Not enough in common?"

"No, we actually had a lot in common, including our attraction to girls in glasses."

"Oh… OHHH… Really?" she asked. Zell nodded. "Well it's been a bad week as a whole for you it seems." One of the members of the Garden Committee came over to Selphie and asked her where to put a poster. She pointed with her left hand where she wanted it and the light coming through the front doors illuminated the engagement ring that was around her ring finger. Irvine had proposed to her about a year after they had defeated Ultimecia. That was almost a year ago, and Selphie still had yet to decide a date, because she was so busy planning other Garden related events that she hadn't had the time to plan her own wedding. Irvine just wanted to elope, but Selphie wasn't having it.

Zell hated to think of their relationship, or any relationship for that matter. It wasn't like he was jealous, but he was jealous. The only relationship he had was with his cat Spike. He was given the cat by some old lady one day when he was walking through Balamb. She had thrust the animal into his arms and told him that 'The apocalypse is coming, you should prepare.' Zell always thought of himself as a dog person, but he decided to keep it when the he saw the cat scare off Rinoa's dog, Angelo.

"Well I actually have to get going; I have an appointment in an hour at the gym," said Zell.

"Who are you training today? Some ditzy blonde who just wants to get in your pants?" said Selphie jokingly.

"I hope so," he thought to himself. Although that seemed like both a great occurrence and the back-story of a porno, the truth of the matter was that most of the people he trained were overweight guys who wanted to pass their field exams. One time he worked with a guy who clearly had a crush on him, but obviously Zell wasn't interested. However Zell hadn't got any action in so long, that if that guy ever showed up again he might just go for it.

"I'll see you later," he said walking toward the elevators.

"Okay remember that we're going into town tonight!" she called after him. "DON'T FORGET!"

How could he forget? It was literally the only thing in his calendar; he had been looking forward to it all week.


	2. Measure Up

**Dincht**

_A/N- I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed, I love the feedback!_

**Chapter 2 – Measure Up**

Zell found himself rather uncaring during his training session. He was helping out some young student who was doing her final field exam in three days because she was worried that she wasn't physically strong enough in case she had to scale a wall or climb a tree or something. Normally Zell would have been giving the girl encouragement and telling her to take it at her own pace, or at least checking her out when she stretched, but today he found himself pushing her to her breaking point and keeping his eyes focused above her shoulders.

"Can we please take a break?" asked the girl breathlessly as she was running on the spot. Her brown bangs were matted to her forehead with sweat, and her short hair was up in a small ponytail at the back of her head, bouncing along as she moved from foot to foot. Zell nodded and she collapsed to the floor in a heap, grasping dramatically at her water bottle.

"We only have another ten minutes together so I want to teach you some simple weight lifting you can do on your down time before your test." The girl looked up at Zell with her eyes narrowed and he chuckled. "How about I just show you what I do and you can do them whenever you feel like it?" She nodded. Zell proceeded to lift some very light dumbbells and explain to her all about the importance of lifting and breathing and focusing on what you're doing. When he was done he held out his hand to help her off the mat that she was currently lying on.

"You really kicked my ass today Zell," she commented as she hopped up to her feet. "You're getting really serious about this training thing huh?"

"Strong body, strong soul," he replied. He realized that his comment truly didn't mean anything, and he had just said it to say it, rather than to instill some deeper meaning into the girl. As she walked away to the change rooms Zell thought about what she had said. Was he really getting serious about training? Was his entire life destined to be filled with training young recruits or aging celebrities? He really hoped not. But on the bright side, if he did continue with fitness, he would certainly leave behind a fantastic looking corpse.

Zell was supposed to meet his friends downstairs at 6:30pm, and so right after the girl left he went straight to his room to get ready. Putting on jeans and a purple hoodie, he ran into Quistis who was walking toward the elevator as he exited his room.

"Hey Quistis," he greeted her. She spun around and smiled nervously.

"Hey Zell, what's up?"

"I'm on my way down to meet everyone aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am. I was just getting something before I went down."

"You were getting something from the boys dorms?"

"Yes," she replied with no further explanation. Quistis had been having a thing with Seifer for a good three months now, and although she hadn't said anything about it to anyone, everyone knew about it. It was hard to keep secrets in a school where the majority of the entertainment was found through the gossip of people's private lives.

"Right, so where are we going tonight?" he asked changing the subject to save his friend from feeling awkward.

"I think Selphie wants to go to some karaoke bar in town," she replied falling into step with him as they headed downstairs.

"Karaoke? I don't know how I feel about that."

"I know how I feel; absolutely awful. It will just be a night of us making complete Asses of ourselves in front of strangers."

"And you know that Irvine is going to sing 'Hot for Teacher' and dedicate it to you," commented Zell.

"I would drink to get myself in the mood for that, but I really just can't. I have a class to teach tomorrow. Also the magic departments lesson plan for next semester is due, and I have yet to go over it," she said. Quistis had been re-instated as an instructor and had worked her way up to become head of various departments. She had turned the Trepies into a group of assistants of sorts and now they would answer to her and help her plan class schedules and grade papers and plan lessons. She was busy doing something almost all the time and with summer classes ending soon and the fall classes coming up, Quistis got pretty stressed out.

Zell was envious of her copious workload, as strange as it sounds. Since he was bored so often during the day he was always trying to find things to occupy him. He had once offered to help Quistis plan lessons, but she had told him in the friendliest way possible that she would never again allow such 'careless disregard' in her 'utopia of structure and discipline'. Zell thought she had been a bit harsh in her words; he had only double-booked the weapons lab once, and they had evacuated everyone before there was any _real_ damage done.

"What took you so long?" asked Selphie when the two exited the silver doors of the elevator into the lobby. The signs that the Garden Committee had been hanging earlier now covered practically the entire front of the school. Zell noticed that someone had graffiti-ed one of the signs and Selphie had written underneath in her delicate handwriting: 'I saw this!'

"Sorry Selphie, but it's not like we're the last ones here. Where's Squall?" asked Quistis.

"He's not coming," responded Rinoa. "Some crisis in Trabia he has to deal with or something." Squall was now working a lot with Cid; being coached on how to run the Garden after Cid finally decides to retire as headmaster. Zell was a little disappointed that he wasn't going to be coming with them. It wasn't that often that they all got together anymore; everyone was busy doing their own things. Rinoa was working a lot in the Infirmary, Quistis with her classes, Selphie with the Garden Committee, and Irvine doing what he does best by dealing a lot with the relations between the Gardens across the world. Zell was the only one out of the group who didn't really have anything going on. Even Seifer, the pseudo-member of the group, was busy doing field exams with newer recruits. Granted it was part of the community service that Cid had ordered him to complete in order for him to be officially re-accepted into Balamb Garden, but still, it was something.

"So now that you guys are here can we please go?" whined Selphie, "I really want to get there!"

"Yeah, let's go. Are we gonna take one of the cars?" asked Quistis.

"Yeah, it's outside. Shotgun!" exclaimed Selphie as she bolted outside to the black car that was waiting for them. The car had the Garden's logo on the side and the back; it looked like a serious government-type vehicle. It was part of the new image that the Gardens were trying to adopt: a more approachable and government oriented one. Zell didn't really see how looking like the police made them approachable, but it wasn't his place to say anything.

Irvine got into the driver's seat and Zell found himself sandwiched in the back between Rinoa and Quistis.

"Why exactly am I the one who got stuck with the bitch seat?" he asked no one in particular.

"Because you're the smallest," replied Irvine with a smirk. The girls giggled in unison.

"Whatever, I'll have you know that I grew two and a half inches last year," Zell retorted crossing his arms.

"So you're what, like 5'1 now?" asked Irvine sarcastically. The car erupted in laughter.

"Hey!" exclaimed Selphie, upon realizing that that number was drastically close to her actual height.

When they arrived at the bar, Selphie made a mad dash to the sign up sheet for the karaoke machine. There was a shockingly small number of people in the bar for a Friday night, probably only six people were in the place when they had arrived, and as the night went on not many more showed up. Zell found himself sitting at the bar, rather than inflicting his awful singing voice upon the public.

"Can I get another," he said to the female bartender motioning to her with the beer in his hand. She expertly popped a bottle open and slid it across the bar to him. Zell noticed a 'Now Hiring' sign taped to the wall behind the bartender. "Hey are you hiring for like, bouncers?"

"What?" she asked.

"Well that 'Now Hiring' sign behind you; does that include bouncers? Because apparently my tattoo is off-putting and intimidating." The woman simply gave him a quizzical look and moved on down the bar to serve somebody else.

"Hey Zelly," said Selphie as she smacked him on the back and took a seat on the stool beside him. "Why aren't you singing?"

"Because I'm terrible," he answered simply.

"Well so is Irvine and look at him," she motioned with her head to the direction of the microphone. Irvine was currently up there singing his rendition of 'Achy-Breaky Heart'. Zell rolled his eyes and took another swig of his drink. "Are you okay?" she asked, "You seem down. Are you still upset about that interview? Because I'm sure there will be other places that will take you."

"No it's not that. Well, I guess it kind of is. I mean, you guys all know what you're going to be doing with your lives and I'm kind of… undecided."

"That's why you're acting all weird? Because you have yet to decide what you plan on doing with the rest of your life?"

"Yeah," he answered.

"Oh Zelly," she cooed as she ruffled his hair with her hand, "You need to relax. You're just going through a like, mid-mid-life crisis; a 'quarter-life crisis' if you will."

"I wasn't aware crisis came in that measurement," said Zell sarcastically.

"Well they do," she retorted. "Look Zell; you're like 20 years old, and you have your whole life ahead of you, and now because you have all this time to think about your life, you're going insane because you don't have some definite plan to follow anymore, and you think that you should. It happens to everyone. It's like when normal people graduate from high school."

"I'm normal," he whined.

"Zell, I would hardly call us normal. Prevalent, maybe, but not normal."

"Well either way, I still feel really weird about it," he said. "It's like my life has turned into one big infomercial; I just waste time until the good shows come on."

"Don't worry about it Zell, it's just a phase. And besides," said Selphie, "you could be doing a lot worse. Look at Quistis; she's so stressed she's doing Seifer." The two laughed and Selphie got off the stool and extended her hand. "Now come on, let's forget about all this silliness and go sing popular songs off-key." Zell took her hand and the two went over to the others.

Zell's mind was hardly put at ease by Selphie's little speech, but at least for tonight, he wanted to forget about it and have a good time with his friends.


	3. Days Go On

**Dincht**

_A/N- Once again, thank you to everyone who reviewed; it's the nectar of sweet life. PS there is a little bit of sexual content, very little. So be aware._

**Chapter 3 – Days Go On (A Day in The Life)**

The next day Zell awoke at 10:31am to a hazy mind and a clear schedule. Those drinks at the bar left him with the mildest of hangovers but regardless; the summer sun pouring through his blinds wasn't doing anything to assist the situation. He rolled over and covered his head with his pillow trying to block out all form of light.

"Well this is pleasant," he said aloud to himself. Since he spent so much time in his room alone he had begun speaking out loud to himself. It passed the time, but he was worried that it was a sign of his slowly deteriorating mental condition. He groaned and got up to his feet, stretching his arms over his head dramatically. Zell looked around his room and noticed how different it looked from two years ago. Before the floor had been nearly invisible; all the piled up dirty clothes, magazines and other various materials littered every square inch of extra space. With so much time on his hands, Zell had become quite the neat-freak, if for no other reason than to waste a few extra hours here and there. Now his clothes were all properly folded and hung in his closet, and all magazines were kept in perfect order in a designated box beside his bed.

"What to do today?" he wondered looking from his computer to his T.V. He had no scheduled training sessions today and everybody was busy doing something else so Zell had the entire day to himself. This was becoming a trend in his life as the weeks passed, with his friends getting busier and busier and himself getting less and less productive. Zell glanced at his clock and decided to run down to the cafeteria and get some breakfast before returning to his room to make his next move. He put on some sweatpants and a plain t-shirt and exited his room.

The cafeteria was pretty full at this time, with all the students who woke up late scrambling to get some breakfast before their first class, and others trying to get a quick snack in-between theirs. Zell knew a lot of the SeeDs at Balamb Garden, or more appropriately, they knew him; Zell actually didn't have many friends outside of his usual group. But he did know some people from classes or the gym or something.

He had thought on many occasions that maybe this was why he was so bored; he didn't really have an expanded social circle. But Zell had tried before to leave the nest and see what else was out there. These experiments usually ended in a night full of awkward silences and the telling of inside jokes of which Zell found himself on the outside.

"Hey Beth," said Zell to the lunch-lady once he got to the front of the line.

"Hey Zell. A large coffee and a BLT?" she asked already punching his order into the till without waiting for him to respond.

"Yeah. You're really good," he commented a little astonished as he got out his money.

"Not really. You're wearing sweatpants, which you only do when you're a little hung over, and your go-to hang over meal is coffee and a sandwich," Zell didn't know whether he should be amazed or freaked out. "You're getting almost _too_ predictable Zell," she said handing him his change. The answer was secret option C: depressed about his sad, predictable-even-by-the-lunch-lady life.

Zell took his change and gave her an awkward smile. He got his food to go and returned to his bedroom, feeling a little like some town monster of fairytales that only emerges from his cave to feast. Zell had asked Cid to get a better room with a small kitchen and if his request went through he would never have to leave his room again. He could become the town shut-in.

He ate his breakfast and took two Tylenol for his headache and decided to open his blinds and fully let the sun in. Zell found it depressing when he was stuck in his room by himself with barely any light in the room; it was like he was being held in some jail cell. Glancing at his clock he saw the time was 11:04am.

Zell sat down at his computer and powered it up. His screens wallpaper was currently a picture of himself he had taken with the web cam attached to his computer. He had edited in on his computer and the lighting and color scheme were, in his opinion, pretty amazing. That's the thing about having nothing to do other than go on your computer: you get really good at it.

After watching one movie illegally online, and half of another, he got up from his chair and stretched his body. Looking at his clock again he saw the time was now 1:13pm. He sat down on what he called the 'master chair' in front of his T.V. and turned it on. Zell had bought the chair in Esthar a year ago and, in his opinion, it was his best purchase so far in life. More of an investment really. It was black leather and was fully recline-able. It took both him and Irvine to get it into his dorm since it was slightly larger than the doorway, but once it was in, Zell was certain it would never leave. It couldn't, it was too big.

Flipping through a variety of daytime talk shows and soap operas, Zell found himself with a limited selection of things to watch. He had been turned on to at least three different soaps over the course of the last year and a half. But eventually one started to get annoying so he would watch another and then that would annoy him and he would move on to the next and the next and the next until there were no more soaps left to watch. Settling on the food network he watched as a chef made a meal and Zell found himself taking mental notes, as he usually did. Apart from becoming somewhat of a tech-whiz, Zell had also become a pretty good cook. He made an especially good Spaghetti Bolognese. The trick was in how you cook the pasta.

Tiring quickly of the food network he turned the T.V. off and returned to his computer desk. His clock now read 1:46pm. He tapped his hand against the desk for a few seconds and then slid his chair backwards so he could turn on his stereo and then he rolled back over to his desk.

He was super bored and there was nothing he could do. He opened up an internet browser window and watched as the little line in the search bar blinked at him, anxiously awaiting his text entry.

"What to do?" he pondered to himself out loud. "I'm tired of everything I usually do so what have I not done in a long time? …Have sex?" he scoffed. Then he began to contemplate the idea. He really hadn't had sex in a long time. A very long time. And there was a way he could… fix his problem. Typing in his favorite 'adult' site into the search bar he watched as the screen loaded. It wasn't like he was some weird sex-freak because he had a favorite site; he didn't do this _all_ the time. Just sometimes when he was going through dry spells; he was only human.

He clicked a link and watched as a movie began to play. His hand slowly drifted from the keyboard and rested on his leg as he felt his pants slowly getting tighter. His hand found it's way to the waistband of his underwear and was about to slide under it when his vibrating cell phone startled him and he closed the computer window, like some teenager who had just been walked in on. Exhaling, he picked up the phone and answered it.

"Hello?" he asked a little more irritated than he should have been.

"Zell, it's Xu. There's a mission for you that is available. It shouldn't take too long; you'll probably be back by around 8 o'clock. Are you interested?" Zell was a little less than interested at the moment, but he knew that what he had planned for his evening probably wouldn't take longer than 15 minutes and then he would be bored again, so he took the offer.

As promised he returned back to his room by 8:12pm. The mission consisted of him loading a truck that was on its way from Timber to Winhill full of fuel drums. His arms now ached and he collapsed onto his bed.

"Well the mission was on overall success," he reported out loud to himself. "I wasted a few hours until… until I could go to sleep and wake up and do the same thing tomorrow… Wow, my life is bleak… You know what me? I'm tired of this. I'm not going to continue this same boring pattern anymore!" he announced to himself rolling over and draping his arm over his eyes. "Tomorrow I am going to make a decision about my future and it'll be great," he said pumping a fist into the air triumphantly, "I'll choose a life path and follow it. …Ugh… Damn it, now I can't sleep because I'm excited… …Am I still talking to myself? That's weird… I should stop… Now… Now…Now."


	4. It Started as a List

**Dincht**

_A/N- I deeply apologize for the long long long long wait. I was just really busy with school finishing up and now that it over (except for one little slutty exam) I am free to begin updating again. Please leave a review, I tend to love them…_

**Chapter 4 – It Started as a List (A Mirror Without a Face)**

Zell awoke the next day refreshed and ready to begin the first day of the rest of his life. He had sent a text message to Rinoa the previous night when he couldn't sleep, telling her to meet him in his room when she could so that she could help him with something. At 10:17am there was a knock on his door, and when he opened it Rinoa, dressed in gym shorts and a tank top, entered his room.

"So what is so important that you had to text me at like 2 in the morning telling me to meet you? Are you pregnant or something?" she asked sarcastically. Zell motioned for Rinoa to sit down on his bed and he loomed over her with his hands held together, totally prepared to beg for her assistance.

"No, obviously not," he said, "As you know I have been trying to get a job somewhere because, well let's face it, I am so bored with my life."

"Okay…"

"So, I thought to myself, I thought: 'Zell, who do you know that has their life totally together and is a great friend and could assist you in your life planning?' And do you know who I came up with?" he asked.

"Quistis?"

"…Yeah–but she was busy, so I thought of the _second_ most together person I know, which is you!"

"Well I'm very flattered that you decided I was good enough to be your second choice Zell, and I would love to help you, but I'm not quite sure what you want me to do," she replied crossing her legs delicately.

"I just need to bounce some ideas off of you and have you give me your honest opinion of what you think of these possible careers. Then we can make a plan on how to go about becoming them. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

"No," she answered honestly, "But since I'm such a good friend, and apparently the second most together person in your life, I will help you." Zell clapped excitedly and got a pad of paper, which was now covered in scribbles of job ideas.

"Great, let's get started. Okay: Pilot?" he suggested.

"You always go too fast. People would get mad at you… but I guess it's a possibility."

"Okay, okay, possibly… Next: Teacher."

"Of what?"

"I thought like just a general teacher of things," he replied.

"Well I don't know if that's a thing. I think you should specialize in something that you're good at."

"Okay. Well I'm good at staying in shape."

"Like a personal trainer?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that your job now?" Rinoa pointed out. Zell nodded and crossed the option off.

"Veterinarian?"

"No."

"Farmer?"

"Possibly… I don't know why you'd want to do that, but possibly."

"Motocross Racer?"

"No."

"Body Builder?"

"…Okay… Is that a job?"

"I think so," he answered, "Model?"

"Too short," she answered quickly. "And that face tattoo… people don't like when models have tattoos."

"A simple no would suffice."

"Sorry. Please, continue."

"Okay: Rap artist."

"Can you rap?"

"Sure. I mean it can't be that hard right? It's not like rhyming is some ridiculously hard thing to do."

"Okay, then why don't you 'drop a mad verse' right now… 'Homeskillet'."

"Sure… Um… Rinoa you're so helpful. When you cook food I get full. I like alligators. Also mashed potatoe…ors."

"That made no sense at all."

"Rap artist is a no," Zell crossed off another possibility, "I guess that means that singing sensation can also be crossed off?" Rinoa just looked at him. "Ugh this is useless." Zell sat down beside the girl and dropped his pad beside him.

"No… we just didn't find a good fit yet. I mean we found some possibilities like the farmer one. You could be a farmer. You could farm chocobos or something. Cattle?"

"I don't like animals," he replied.

"You have a cat."

"You can't farm those."

"Well… no. Okay well maybe there are better possibilities on the list, what's the next one?" she asked motioning to the pad of paper. Zell picked it up and found his place on the page.

"Tattoo artist."

"See! That sounds like an idea."

"I'm afraid of needles."

"Okay, then why did you put it on the list?" Rinoa asked a little annoyed taking the pad from him. Her eyes scanned the page and she began to read a few out loud. "Cowboy? No. Doctor? That's a lot of school."

"No."

"Okay um… Drug dealer?" she turned and gave Zell a strange look.

"It was just you know… if things got really tough," he answered. Rinoa shook her head and continued to read.

"Dance teacher, no. Author? Can you write?"

"I started a blog once, but it only lasted one entry… and I wrote that list."

"I'm gonna say no. Dog whisperer, no. Caterer, no, you would eat all the food. Ladder maker, not a career. Computer Technician, possibly. Hamster whisperer? Beautician? Professional Counter? Reader to the deaf? Were you high when you wrote this?"

"It was late at night… they sounded good at the time."

"Right, well this is useless," Rinoa tossed the pad to the floor and turned her body to look at Zell in the eyes. "Zell, do you know why I decided to start working in the infirmary?"

"Why?"

"Because I like to help people. Do you know why Selphie decided to be in the Garden Committee?"

"She's power hungry?"

"…yes, but also, she loves to plan things. And Quistis loves to teach, and Squall likes to be in charge. You see, everyone is doing something that they're good at and that they love to do. So what do you love Zell? What are you good at?"

"…I can rhyme," he suggested.

"I think we already determined that, no, you cannot do that."

"I don't really know what I'm good at."

"Well then Zell, I think you should make a list of your skills or your talents or just a list about you, and then that will help you decide. If you want you can show me that one too, and I'll help you. But right now, I have to go meet Dr. Kadowaki. So call me later?" Rinoa got up to leave but turned just when she reached the door. "And try not to put 'rhyming' as a skill or you know something else ridiculous like 'standing'. It won't be helpful."

Rinoa exited and closed the door behind her, leaving Zell alone in his room with his thoughts. What was he good at? Other than being fit, and apparently, writing stupid lists. Zell got up and walked to his bathroom and stared at his own reflection. Maybe this problem was deeper than being bored with his everyday life. Maybe the problem Zell was facing was the fact that he didn't know himself; a case of identity crisis.

Staring at himself in the reflection of the glass he thought about who he was. He was fun. He was blonde. He was tall…er. Zell then realized that these were all generic descriptions of a person who could have been anybody. And Zell wanted more than anything, to be something other than just 'anybody'.

He wanted to be somebody.


	5. Sad Robots

**Dincht**

**Chapter 5 – Sad Robots**

After having spoken with Rinoa the day before, Zell did some serious soul searching while alone in his room. What he had thought was a matter of simple boredom he felt towards his monotonous life, had now changed into a search for self-discovery. It was all at once a deep and meaningful problem, and an annoying and un-ideal situation. As he stared up at his ceiling listening to music, he thought about all the things in his life that made him, him. When he thought of all his friends he knew what made them the people that they were:

Selphie was a chipper girl who was bright and friendly and fit in perfectly as head of the Garden Committee. Quistis was smart and organized making her life as an instructor an obvious choice. Rinoa liked to help people, and where else better could you help than in the infirmary? Irvine, always the people's person, had a great job as a pseudo-public relations expert. And Squall, well he loved to be in charge; so obviously he would want to be the head of an entire Garden. Everyone had their place here…

"That's it," said Zell to himself, sitting up from his laid back position. His realization brought both a wave of happiness and sadness… and a little light-headedness from the quick sit up.

Everyone had their place _here_. It was the Garden that was Zell's problem. His whole life he'd known three places: the Orphanage, his Ma's house, and here. How could he fully know himself if he didn't know anything about anywhere else? Maybe his journey of self-discovery meant that he had to fly away from the nest and see what else there was for him in the world. People did it in movies and it always works out all right for them…

Zell was happy that he had finally decided what he had to do but leaving the Garden wouldn't be easy for him. And where would he go? Deciding not to think of things too much he got up from the bed and left his room: the first step in leaving was letting people know you were going. So he went to tell his friends that he was going to go, that way he wouldn't so easily be able to change his mind.

Heading first to the infirmary, he found Rinoa speed walking frantically throughout the rooms writing things on charts and directing some nurses.

"Hey Rinoa," he said trying to get his friends attention. He dodged a stretcher carrying a wounded SeeD that was just brought in and Rinoa came up beside him, her eyes focused on what was going on around her and not on him.

"What's up Zell, I'm kind of busy right now; a training group accidentally set off some explosives in the field. Stupid kids…" she gave one of the charts in her hand to a nurse.

"Oh I just wanted to tell you something," he replied. "But if you're busy I could come back-"

"Could you?" she asked, cutting him off, "I'm just so swamped right now." She gave a slight wave and followed a stretcher into one of the rooms. Zell stood where he was for a second and then left to find someone else.

Quistis was in a classroom teaching, and he didn't want to interrupt, mostly for his own safety; the last time he had interrupted one of Quistis' classes she gave him a look that he was pretty sure could turn you to stone. Squall and Irvine were in some conference call with other Gardens and Zell couldn't find Selphie anywhere.

Deciding there was no time like the present, Zell returned to his room to pack. As he took his clothes out of his closet and stuck them into suitcases, he couldn't help but feel like some spoiled brat who was running away to get the attention of his non-caring family.

After about an hour there was a knock on his door and instead of going to answer it he simply said:

"It's open!"

"Boo!" exclaimed Selphie entering the room with a start dressed in foil and silver leggings. "Were you scared?" she asked with a smile.

"Are trying to block the aliens from reading your brain?" he asked referring to the foil cone hat that was on her head.

"No," she replied her smile fading as she looked around his now empty room, "The Garden Committee went to a kindergarten in town and we performed 'The Wizard of Oz'. I'm the tin-man." She looked at the one remaining box on the floor questioningly and then a smile once again came to her face. "Oh are you changing rooms? Did that big one down the hall finally open up? I knew that fat kid couldn't cut it as a SeeD!"

"No it didn't, but I am changing rooms," said Zell as he continued to pack his desk away. "I'm kind of moving out… of the Garden."

"Moving out? What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna go live in Esthar for a while," he replied, the words escaping his mouth without even thinking. He had given no thought towards his future dwelling, but now that he had said it he felt like it made sense.

"I don't get it… are you mad about something?" her smile faded to a frown.

"No, I'm not mad. I guess I just need a change."

"Then dye your hair; don't move away."

Zell let out a chuckle and put the last item from his desk, a lamp, into the box that was sitting on the floor. "I don't think that would quite do it for me," he commented, "Besides; I like being a blonde."

"Zell…" Selphie's green eyes began to glaze over with tears and she looked down at her silver spray-painted boots.

"Sad robot?" he asked in a mechanical voice in an attempt to make her smile.

"I'm not a robot, I'm the tin-man…" she replied.

"Selph it's not forever," he said wrapping her in his arms. "I'll be back."

"You'd better," she said into his chest, "Once you go find yourself, you'd better find your way back here. If you don't, I'll find _you_." Zell laughed again at his friend's threat and hugged her tighter.

"I'm gonna take one of the cars in the garage; it's waiting for me downstairs."

"You're going on a road trip too?" she exclaimed, "I am so mad right now." A smile came to her face, but her eyes were still watery.

"I better go," Zell picked up the last box and stopped in the doorway, "Wanna come with me downstairs?"

"In this outfit?" she motioned to herself, "I'd look completely insane, and I still have to live here ya know." A sad look came to Zell's face.

"Bye Selph…"

"Bye Zell…"

Zell turned on his heel and left Selphie alone in his now completely bare room. He wondered who they would put to live in there after him; who would replace him. But that thought quickly faded and as he entered the drivers seat of his car, he could feel nothing but excitement, and he knew that his decision to leave, regardless of how hard it was to make, was the best decision he had ever made.


	6. 129 600 Minutes Later

**Dincht**

_A/N- Again I apologize for the long wait; it's been almost a month. But I have a good reason. I was considering the idea of writing a kind of spin-off of this story based on Quistis. And I decided that I was going to do it. It's called 'Calendar Girl' and I'm just deciding whether or not I should start posting it after I'm done this one or during it. What do you guys think? Anyways, here's the update. Please R&R!_

**Chapter 6 – 129 600 Minutes Later**

"Table six is really gonna get my hork in their salad if they give me anymore attitude," said a short red head. She tucked a stray crimson lock behind her ear and released a loud sigh.

"You need to relax Aimee," said Zell to the waitress. He released the top button of his white Oxford shirt, part of the mandatory uniform of all waiters at The Steakhaus, one of the finer steak places in Esthar. He got a job at the restaurant a week after moving out of Balamb Garden and he had been working there for $10.95 an hour ever since.

Aimee took a tray from the head chef Andre and turned to Zell, her green eyes slanted in annoyance, "I am always calm. If I wasn't then this steak knife would be deep inside that socialites fake tit right now." She waved wildly with the blade and Zell backed up a little.

"Right," he answered. Zell got the two waters and Appletini his table had ordered and headed out of the kitchen to deliver them.

"Thanks so much," cooed the cougar mom at table three when Zell handed her the Appletini. She was with her two young sons and she kept brushing Zell's arm every chance she got; it was beginning to get a little weird. But the customer was always right, right?

"No problem, are you ready to order your meals, or do you need a few more minutes?" he asked politely. Zell had said that line about six thousand times, but he still sounded perfectly pleasant every time he delivered it. He was certain it was one of the reasons that he was the top tip earner among the staff, a fact that made Aimee incredibly upset.

"Well the kids wanted to get a 1 pound steak each, but that seems like too much for a child doesn't it? It's more of a man's meal. Something a buff guy like yourself would eat right?" asked the cougar. She had salon dyed blonde hair with her roots showing a little. Zell figured she was some politician's trophy wife; he had come across his fair share of women like this in his three months of living in Esthar.

"It is a little large for a child," he commented.

"Well then I'll get one of those with a side of fries; they'll share, and I will have a Caesar salad; I need to watch my weight," she was clearly fishing for a compliment but, luckily, it was inappropriate for staff to say anything to customers that could be construed as sexual.

"I'll be right back with your meals," he said taking the menus from the table.

When Zell returned to the kitchen Aimee was in an argument with Andre and Rick, who owned The Steakhaus. Zell was sure that if Aimee hadn't of been Rick's niece she would have been fired a long time ago due to her behavior. When Zell had first started working there Aimee had gotten into an argument with a spazy customer who insisted that it was possible to order a vegetarian steak. The spat had ended with Aimee molding lettuce into the form of a steak and delivering it to the girl with a smirk and a sarcastic comment.

"Aimee if you spit in one more of the salads we make I am going to lose patience with you," said Rick in a parental tone. Aimee rolled her green eyes defiantly and crossed her arms. She acted like she was 16 years old when her true age was 20.

"I'll stop spitting in that debutante's meal when she stops telling me to do things 'chop-chop'. I swear if she does it one more time I'll-"

"You know I'll just give the table to Marina. Just take a few minutes to relax and then start waiting on tables 1, 4, and 11," said Rick cutting her off. Andre tossed the salad into the trash where a pile up of Romaine lettuce had begun. Rick turned around and returned to the back room where he spent most of his time. Aimee looked to Zell and nodded her head towards the room like she was saying 'Can you believe him?'

Zell ripped a sheet from his notepad and handed it to one of the other chefs and followed Aimee out of the kitchen. It was the beginning of the afternoon and it was turning out to be a slow day with not many people coming in, and the ones who did usually opted for a seat in the bar, rather than the dining room. It _was_ officially happy hour…

"These stupid bleach blonde trust-fund kids; they are so stupid," said Aimee just as she passed the table that was annoying her. A girl and her friend turned and looked at Aimee with their mouths open in shock. Clearly Aimee meant for them to hear that last comment, so she didn't care that they gave her a dirty look.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but don't _you_ have a trust fund?" asked Zell. Aimee went behind the bar and poured herself a shot of Tequila. It was against the rules to drink on the job, and Aimee was underage, but no one was going to say anything so she took it back and put the shot glass in the sink.

"Listen," she started, her eyes forming into slits, "Just because I have one, doesn't mean I am anything like those air headed boobs with arms. I have something called an opinion, _and_ sister is doing it for herself; I work hard for my money."

Zell wasn't about to anger her further by pointing out that she was a terrible waitress so he let the comment slide.

"Zell?" came a wispy voice from behind him. He turned around and his eyes widened at the sight of Selphie standing dressed in jeans and a grey boat-neck sweater. "Of all the bars in all of Esthar, I had to walk into yours… or maybe you're supposed to say that line; I don't remember."

Zell gave out a little awkward laugh. He felt surprisingly bad with Selphie here; he hadn't been the best at keeping in touch with his friends. In fact, after the first week he hadn't really spoken to anyone at all.

Aimee looked from Zell to Selphie as neither of them said a word. In order to break the silence she raised her hand towards Selphie, "I'm Aimee."

"Selphie," she responded shaking the girls hand. The two kept looking at each other in silence.

"Right, well _I_ am going to go see if anyone needs some water," said Aimee taking her leave.

"So… how have you been?" asked Zell. He busied himself by washing the shot glass that Aimee had just used.

"You'd know if you called once in a while," commented Selphie. Her tone wasn't an angry one; instead it was kind of a sad one. She took a seat on a barstool.

"Yeah… I'm sorry about that. I've been kind of busy."

"So I see," she commented taking a quick look around the bar.

"So… how is everyone?" he asked.

"Everyone is good. Rinoa's working hard at the infirmary, Squall's been taking good care of the Garden while Cid has been away on a vacation for the last month, and Irvine broke up with me." Selphie's last comment caught Zell of guard, and he did a double take to see if he had heard correctly.

"What?"

"Cid's been on vacation?" Selphie offered half-jokingly.

"Selph, that isn't funny. What happened?"

"Irvine really wanted to get married. I did too, don't get me wrong, but I insisted that we wait until I could get married when my best friend was there," Zell's face dropped and there was a silence again.

"…I'm …sorry," was Zell's response and it escaped his lips so quietly that he was sure Selphie didn't even hear it.

"I've got to admit; I was kind of hoping I would find you doing something like saving children from burning buildings instead of waiting tables. It would make the reason for your absence a little more… acceptable."

"You were looking for me?"

"Not at first," she admitted, "At first I came here to do what you did. You know, find yourself. So I rented a room at a hotel and just hung out for two days. Then cabin fever set in and I went out to find you."

"How exactly did you find me?"

"Zell, I am a trained SeeD operative; I'm an expert at tracking people." Zell simply raised an eyebrow. "Alright, this is the restaurant closest to my hotel. I was coming in here to get an espresso before I started my search. You being here was purely coincidental."

"Smooth," Zell commented.

"So Zell tell me, what did you learn about yourself while here. Because I have been here for a few days and so far I am not close to learning anything."

"Well I did learn that I make the best Mojito in the world," he said. "Why don't I mix you up one, and after my shifts done we'll… catch up." Selphie looked over at a couple in the corner. They were sharing a smoothie and Selphie felt her stomach churn in disgust and jealousy.

"Make it two and you've got a deal."


	7. Alone

**Dincht**

**Chapter 7 – Alone**

Once Zell finished his shift, he and Selphie returned to his apartment. Selphie was mildly surprised when she saw the place. The front foyer was immaculate with gorgeous red walls and golden accents. She wondered how he could afford to live in such a place alone.

"Holy crap," she muttered, "How are you living here?"

"I had a lot of money saved up," he replied simply as they headed for the elevator. She followed him but was entranced but what was around her. Everything looked so shiny and amazing. She imagined the people who lived here were high society types. The kind that would drink red wine while watching T.V. She loved it.

The elevator doors opened to the third floor and Selphie followed Zell to his apartment. He unlocked the door with his key and allowed Selphie to enter first. The apartment was much like the foyer, with red walls and golden light fixtures. It kind of made Selphie think of an amazing hotel room. The furniture however was very Zell-like, which is why it seemed out of place in the fancy room.

He had a black leather couch, black leather chair, a T.V. and a table with two mismatched stools. It looked exactly how Selphie would imagine someone's first apartment would look, minus the spaciousness.

"Where did you get your furniture?" she asked.

"I know it doesn't really go with the fanciness that is the Diamont Building. But I really didn't care much for how it all looked."

"This is why you need a female perspective," she said motioning with her hands. "If I lived here with you I would have this place looking like a spread in a home and garden magazine."

Zell locked the door behind him and went to his room to change out of his work clothes.

"Do you want something to eat? We could call room service and get some nachos or something?" he called from his room.

"An apartment building with room service?" she asked incredulously. "I _need_ to get rich."

They ordered a plate of nachos, some mashed potatoes and an order of French fries. Selphie had said that they couldn't have 'girl talk' without a bunch of carbs. Zell wasn't aware that he was going to be indulging in 'girl talk'.

The food was delivered by a guy wearing a red and black suit with a gold tie. Apparently these were the buildings theme colors. Selphie placed the trays on the floor opting out of sitting on an uncomfortable stool and eating. She placed pillows on the floor and waited for Zell to get the beers from his fridge. Her head was still a little foggy from the Mojitos she had drank before, but she thought of no better time to keep drinking than now.

"So," she started taking the beer from Zell's hand, "Tell me about your journeys. What have you been up to?"

"Not much," he answered simply. "I've been pretty much working at the restaurant the whole time I've been here."

"That's it?"

"I went to a Museum a few days ago." Selphie looked at him emotionlessly and chewed a mouthful of nachos.

"So you left Garden because you were bored and didn't know what to do with yourself, so that you could go and be bored and not know what to do with yourself?"

"I guess I'm stuck in a sort of catch 22," he said scratching the back of his neck.

"Guess so," she replied eating more nachos. How did they taste so good.

"What about you?" he asked looking away. "How have you been?" She hadn't spoken about what happened between her and Irvine and the last thing Zell wanted to do was upset her by bringing it up, so he decided tip-toeing around the situation would be better for both of them.

"Garden Committee kept me pretty busy for a while," she said chewing, "We opened kind of like a bar thing in the old weapons room."

"Really?" Zell asked, genuinely stunned. "I'm surprised Cid allowed that."

"He didn't. Squall became the new Headmaster."

"I thought you said he was on vacation."

"That's what we've been telling people since it hasn't been made official yet, but basically the only thing they haven't done is announce it," she answered.

"Wow," was all Zell could offer. He couldn't believe that Squall had taken on so much responsibility at such a young age. It made Zell feel even worse about the fact that the most he was responsible for was the tables on the left side of a restaurant.

"Yup. It's pretty cool. Irvine was really excited because he became like second command or commander-in-chief or whatever it is that they call the person who does things second."

"That's cool," he said slowly. He shoved a fork-full of mashed potatoes in his mouth not wanting to make a mistake by prodding the subject of Irvine further.

"I think that the stress is why he broke up with me," she said as she played with a French fry. "I mean I hope it was. We didn't really talk about it. He was getting mad at me for a lot of things near the end, and I didn't really think anything I did was totally unreasonable."

"Like what?" asked Zell immediately regretting it.

"Well Irvine's kind of an old-fashioned guy. He wanted me to stop working so hard, and maybe buy a house in Balamb where we would live and more than anything he wanted us to get married as soon as possible."

"But you were waiting for me?" Selphie simply looked up at him in response. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said "The way we were fighting I'm sure if it wasn't that we might have broken up over something else."

Zell didn't respond and they were quiet for a moment.

"Hyne, when did life get so complicated?" she asked finally.

"I think it was sometime after we saved the planet from certain destruction at the hands of an evil sorceress," he responded simply.

"Ahh… the simple life…." Selphie looked around for a second before she spoke again. "Do you think I could stay here with you?" she finally asked. "I just can't stand the thought of heading back to that hotel and being there alone."

"Of course," replied Zell.

"Thanks."

She may have thought that he was doing her a favor by letting her stay here, but in reality, having Selphie be here made Zell realize just how lonely he really was.


End file.
